Pumpkins! Not the fruit, dude. The Computer!

Dear Fellow,
Just last night, my professor Simone and I figured out where the future is leading us. All us computer scientists, computer developers, computer communicators, computer designers, computer computers, computer whatever-ists… depending on operating systems, freaky programmers, scarce elements, obsessed PR folks… machines – have found that nature is faster!

At the Beuth University of Applied Science in Berlin, in cooperation with the Institute of Sounds Weird but Makes Sense University of Baltimore, a Team of eighteen Non-Emotionally-Responding-Dudes were proving what Polish harvesters have been preaching for decades: Pumpkins are Computers!

Computer-Pumpkins are the future!!

Leader of Research Dr. Ricarda from Stockdorf put it all together: „I started research on fruit’s ability to mimic integrated circuits when I was a freshman at primary school. I not only taught the other students to read and write, but also made sure they‘d read and write themselves. That’s how I got into computers.“ Astonishing.
Since the theory of fruits being able to interpret binary code into a human kind of mess she has been the leading light in proving what André couldn‘t: Pumpkins are electric.

„Through all the months of research, experiments and setbacks, we have to give credit to the Polish harvesters at last. They were right, we weren‘t.“ says Angelica Trimmit, mother of two and executive cup of tea.

The team of eighteen (TOE) accidentally connected fresh, juicy pumpkins to an electrical circuit in their labs, what then followed, was nothing short of a miracle. „At that time I was cheating on my boyfriend, who had just finished a creative writing course,“ July Allen recalls, „the next thing I remember is him twittering „July, I knew“. Can you imagine?‘“

„When properly connected, electrical stimuli travel faster than light. Cut a pumpkin in two, wire the halves together with a plus and a minus pole in your bathroom and just think of whatever you wanna publish on the internet.“ says Dr. from Stockdorf, a very charming gal by the way. „This is our future, forget touch screens, mouses and keyboards – just think.“

Hard enough for most people, the researchers conclude: „Give it a wire!“.

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Stocklog von Christina Makonnen steht unter einer Creative Commons Namensnennung-NichtKommerziell-KeineBearbeitung 3.0 Unported Lizenz.